Somewhere in my college years, I was asked to write a position paper, and didn’t know what it was. As it was explained to me, it wasn’t the same as writing an persuasive statement. The point was to explain your thinking, your conclusions, based on the information available to you as of that time.* And in that sense, it was like putting down a marker. You might move on from it with new information, a change of perspective. But for now, this is where you stand, and why.

I suspect that is how I use these blog posts from time to time. I put down a marker, a future reminder of what my thinking was on, say, a July day in 2009, when health care reform was looming on the horizon but still seemed out of reach.** Of course, I also use blog posts to rant, and vent, and sort out my thoughts. But sometimes, my goal is to assess where my thinking is at, as of that moment.

So. About the democratic nominee. I don’t want to pick. I have favorites. I will eventually pick, but right now I just want all the serious contenders to keep making their pitch. Things will sort themselves out, and a favorite will rise to the top. Now, however, is not that time.

Now is the time for people to put their cards on the table, and for weak contenders to face up to reality, and walk away. I’m ignoring the people who didn’t even make it to the first debates. And I want the dweeby white boys (Tim Ryan, Hickenlooper, Delaney, Beto) and the Not A Political Persons (Yang, Williamson) to get the fuck out of the way. I want Bernie to fizzle out quickly, but I bet he hangs on like bitter old apple, right to the end. I kind of like the idea of NO white men being in the race, but of course Biden, Inslee, Bennet, Mayor Pete, Swalwell, and DeBlasio all have some skill and talent to offer (Beto has talent too, I just find him annoying). These guys aren’t losers. Still. I just want them gone. Enough with leaders from the White Guy walk of life. We need new perspectives in the mix.

Tulsi is just a No. Not interested, not at all. I’m not a huge Gillibrand fan – something doesn’t quite click, though I haven’t nailed it down yet; she’s smart, and determined, and seems to be an effective Senator, given the lay of the land. What is my problem? It may be that I find her voice grating, and don’t want to listen to it for four-plus years. Admittedly, this is also one of my Bernie issues. Suffice it to say, that is not an issue of substance.

So, who’s left? Julian Castro, who I think is a good contender, but suspect he’d be better in a Cabinet position, or possibly VP. I see him in a support position, not the head of the Executive branch. Cory Booker and Amy Klobuchar would handle the job well, and I’d be pretty happy to vote for either of them, but I suspect Amy doesn’t come across as leadership material to a lot of voters; I think she’d be good at it, I just don’t think she projects that in a way the bulk of voters would have confidence in. I have vaguely the same feelings about Booker, and need to delve into why that is – it’s more of an impression than based on substance, and I’m not sure why I have it. Is it that he just doesn’t enthuse me all that much? Is it because his style is soft, which appeals to me but feels a little off for a President in dire times? Is it because I think a lot of voters won’t go for a black man? More inner dialogue needed!

That brings it down to Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren. They are my two favorites, and have been for quite a while. Warren, in particular, has Plans, and lots of them, and lots of well-thought out work went into creating those Plans. Both women have a vision for the nation, and it’s based in improving the lives of everyday citizens, the breadth and width of us. Both are fighters, and practical, and speak their minds. Both have been in positions of power, and used that power effectively. Both know how to plot out a campaign to implement an idea, achieve a goal. Both know how to create, and manage, and work with teams of people. Both have clarity of thought, and the ability to communicate their thinking.

It’s not that some of the other candidates don’t also share these qualities, or at least some of them. But there is a fire to Warren and Harris that elevates them above the rest of the pack.

I will vote for whoever the Dems nominate, no question. Even old Bernie, even though he’s awful, and self-centered, and grumpy, and not a Democrat, and I don’t relish the idea of him wagging his finger at us for years on end. But in the meantime, I have my faves, I have my “they’d be ok” list, and I have my “I’ll grumble my way through it” list. Biden is on that list, and while I’m just kind of tired of him at this point, I do recognize that he’s still quite a strong contender, and may well be our nominee. And I have no doubt he’d do his damndest to be a good leader.

But in the meantime, I’m just listening, learning, observing and loving that even with a huge field of candidates, we have an amazing array of skilled individuals who would take office for the People, for all of us.

* The googles and Merriam Webster tell me that the definition is more like ” a detailed report that recommends a course of action on a particular issue” but this was not how it was explained to me.
** I chuckled when I read my estimate of monthly health insurance premiums in that 2009 post; I checked a few weeks after this was written and the cost would more likely have been $500-700. Now my insurance is over $900 a month, but the ACA picks up most of that.